


Probation

by attimesiwrite, Chub n Tux (attimesiwrite)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Mutual Pining, OFC isn't Rook but plays the same role?, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prequel, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attimesiwrite/pseuds/attimesiwrite, https://archiveofourown.org/users/attimesiwrite/pseuds/Chub%20n%20Tux
Summary: Juniper Crane has fallen on hard times. Convicted of aggravated assault, her first-time offense on an otherwise spotless record has earned her minimal jail time and community service through her local VA. Through the VA, she meets one very broken and ill-mannered Jacob Seed. Her service to the community of Marietta, Georgia lands her in the middle of a brewing storm and ultimately into the hands of the Project at Eden's Gate.
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Jacob Seed/Original Female Character(s), Jacob Seed/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That epic gamer moment when you start playing Far Cry 5 a year and a half after it came out so you're super late to the fandom party.
> 
> I have most of this story done, I just need to edit it and push it out. I hope to have it all done by Christmas.

On a particularly unseasonably hot spring day, Junie Crane dragged herself out of bed, through an unpleasant shower, and into her shitty little sedan with no air conditioning. She picked up an unremarkable breakfast at the McDonalds just down the street from her house and ate it as she settled in for a 30-minute drive to the VA Medical Center.

The car ride is too long, yet too short. Junie now sits in her humming car, windows lowered slightly and leg bouncing as the music she had playing faded into the background noise surrounding her. The VA parking lot buzzes with what she thinks is was way too much traffic for 8:45 on a Thursday morning. Junie’s eyes peek at her phone – the resting screen displaying a clock that just flickered to 8:46.

She’s early.

Junie sighs and reasons with herself: _One day at a time. One day. Get through today and you can do anything._

She shifts between picking at her nails, fiddling with her phone and scanning the medium-sized parking lot for a familiar, marked SUV.

Junie is rewarded at 8:54 when a black SUV enters the parking lot swiftly, the golden seal of the state blurring in front of her eyes as it parks a few spaces down from her. The young woman takes a deep breath and rolls up her windows. She makes no fuss about grabbing her things and exiting her car, moving up to the sidewalk to wait for her state counterpart.

Kevin Meredith is a stout man in his forties. A nice, professional man with a knack for compassion. Junie is lucky that he’s her probation officer. He rounds the front of several cars, his SUV beeping as he locks it. The two spot each other and Junie offers a polite smile.

“Good morning, Mr. Meredith.”

“Good morning to you, as well, Ms. Crane!” He replies cheerfully, adjusting his necktie. He stops in front of her and puts his hands on his hips. “How ya doing?”

“I’m doing pretty well.” Junie placates. “How are you?”

“Good, good!” The conversation fizzles for a second. It’s uncomfortable. “Well, are you ready to get this started?”

“Yeah, sure.” Junie clears her throat and allows the man to lead the charge into the new, white building.

The new medical center greeted Junie with a whirring of electric doors and a blast of cold air to her warm body. Junie pulls the sleeves on her thin jacket down gripping onto the edges and squeezing them until her knuckles are white. The tension feels good.

Mr. Meredith makes pleasant conversation with the older woman at the front desk. The words parole and community service hours are tossed around. The woman eyes Junie from over the man’s shoulder. Junie catches her eye and smiles politely. The woman returns it, taken off-guard for a minute.

Junie is directed to sign herself in, hand over her ID, give her electronic fingerprint, and have a new picture taken. A neat little sticker is printed and handed to her. Junie peers down at it while another conversation breaks out between the man and woman in front of her. Junie is met by a smiling, monochrome Junie.

**GUEST PASS**

**CRANE, JUNIPER M.**

Junie peels the sticker off and places it over her heart, wading up the sticker paper and shoving it into the pocket of her jeans.

“You ready, Ms. Crane?”

Junie didn’t catch what was said before, but nods – offering a quick thanks to the older woman as she follows her probation officer as he leaves the desk. They take a left from the desk and walk down a relatively short hallway. The hall is white and beige – the floors shiny and polished. Patriotic motifs line the hall. Bald eagles, American flags, photographs of air craft carriers – all symbols of something that Junie feels utterly divorced from. They stop at the end of the hallway – in a small atrium of 4 elevators. There are no paintings or photographs on the walls. The decoration in under her feet – a giant seal of the United State of America emblazoned on the floor. Junie peers down at it, taking in the carefully planned out details.

“Did you read the packet I sent home with you last week?” Kevin asks curiously after he hits the up arrow on the wall.

“Yeah.” Junie confirms softly. The packet outlined the role she was to play over the next 6 months. Code of conduct, right to privacy, reporting abuse – all of the fun stuff.

“Good.” The man nods and Junie can feel his eyes on her. “You made a good choice with this service.”

“Did I, now?”

“Oh yeah. These people need company and help.” Kevin starts and Junie looks up at him finally. “My brother-in-law came back from Iraq in bad shape. He went through this program and it saved his life. Probably would’ve wound up homeless or worse – y’know?”

Junie hums, a mild unease settling in the pit of her stomach. She knows better than to believe the man. It wasn’t the volunteers who saved lives in this program. It was the psychologists and doctors. The volunteers did some minor leg work. She knows this.

A beep brings them both back to reality and Junie follows the officer onto the elevator. The ride is short and silent before the elevator stops and a chime precedes the doors opening. The floor they enter looks like the entryway but a bit different – not as sterile. It looks almost homey with warm lights, fluffy couches and chestnut tables.

There’s another reception desk and another receptionist and another sign-in process. Junie keeps her polite façade but bristles – a deep desire to go home sparked into flame.

A large, older man strolls out of a room behind the reception area. “Good to see you Kevin.”

“Goo to see you too, Mark. How you been?”

The two men make small talk before the attention is diverted to Junie.

“This is your newest transition volunteer – Juniper Crane.” Kevin motions to Junie.

With yet another polite smile, Junie reaches out to shake Marks hand. Mark smiles probably as best as he can – a tight drawback of his already thin lips. Tense and uncomfortable. Junie empathizes with him, but won’t show it.

“Nice to meet you ma’am. I’ll be the one supervising you while Kevin isn’t here. We have a short orientation for you before you meet the vet you’ll be working with.”

There’s a short goodbye between Kevin and Junie before Mark leads her to a small conference room. In a flash, she’s sitting with a hot cup of coffee in her hand and Mark sitting across from her. Mark places a manila folder between them. Her name is written in pristine uppercase letters on the tab.

Door closed, Junie feels the dynamic between her and her new acquaintance shift considerably.

“Tell me about yourself.” Mark starts, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. She’s taken back to two months prior – in a cold room with a cop shaking her down. A shiver goes down her spine and she reinforces the walls that have been up since January.

“Um…” Junie begins awkwardly. “Well, I mean… My name is Juniper. You can call me Junie if you like. Most people do.”

“Where ya from?”

“Montana.”

“You have any service members in your family?”

“One of my brothers is a marine. I have another brother who is in the army.”

“Still in?”

“The solider is. The marine isn’t.”

“So you know how delicate this transition period is?” It’s a question – but it’s more of a statement.

Junie hasn’t talked to her brothers in a long time – but she knows as much. “Yes.”

“I know your record with the police. I know what you did. Society thinks that you may be some hardened piece of shit with a second-degree felony on your record. But after being a marine for 22 years, I’ve seen such morally reprehensible shit from good people that I know not everything is black and white. You seem like a nice person.” Mark pauses, mulling over his words.

“You being here is you serving your time. Repaying your community for the harm that you’ve done.” Mark leans forward, placing his elbows on the table. Junie winces at the word harm. “More importantly – you’ll be working around men and women who have a suicide rate higher than any other single demographic in this country. Don’t view being here as a burden. They know it. They will feel it. Most of these people have given pieces of themselves that they can’t get back – only to be treated like shit.”

His speech pulls at Junie’s heartstrings. There’s a silence and Junie finally speaks up. “I chose this service because I thought it sounded nicer than some of the other ways I can get hours in. But I’m not a piece of shit. I’m not heartless. I’ll do what I need to do to serve my sentence and I’ll do it right. You don’t need to worry about that.”

Mark flashes a tense smile again. “Good, good.”

The following 45 minutes is a boring recap of what Junie already read about in her handbook. She nods and placates and asks a couple of questions that she could probably guess the answer to but still raised her hand because she felt bad for being such a shitty participant.

After wrapping up – Mark pulls out another folder from the table behind him.

“The vet you’ll be working with is a Mr. Jacob Seed. He’s from here in Georgia and served in the Army for 18 years. He was honorably discharged a few years ago but is still firmly within his transition to civilian life. In terms of any other details – he’s going to be the one to share those with you if he wants to. I will maintain his privacy.”

Junie listed aptly – mind swimming with possibilities of what this Jacob Seed will look like. “Of course.”

Mark begins pulling his files together and moves to stand. “Very well, then. He’s already here and was briefed on the transition services yesterday. I’ll leady you to the meeting area and you will have some time to get to know each other and set up a schedule. Do you have any questions?”

“No, I understand.” Junie squeaks out as she grabs her things to follow Mark out of the conference room.

Through a maze of hallways that Junie has trouble keeping track of, Mark leads her through another office until they reached what appeared to be a common area of sorts. The exterior walls were occupied by large bay windows that overlooked the parking lot. There were tables and chairs scattered throughout the area, as well as a counter with a coffee machine and an assortment of cups surrounding it. Pristine sofas were place strategically to face one of the three mounted TVs that were tuned to the local news.

There are a few people occupying space throughout the area – but only one man sat alone.

Junie’s heart leapt up to her throat as Mark led her to the solitary man – his features difficult to discern as they walked across the large, open space. His eyes locked onto them, and even from afar Junie sees that they are a bright – nearly white – blue. When they get close enough, the man leans back away from his coffee and his eyes bore directly into Junie. She feels her face heat up and she blinks away from him momentarily before returning her gaze to him after she hears Mark start up a conversation.

“Mr. Seed! How are you this morning?”

He’s handsome and much younger looking than what Junie conjured up in her mind.

“Good.” A surprisingly gentle voice leaves the man. His eyes find Junie once more. He stands – towering over her.

Mark continues. “Good to hear, man. I’d like to introduce you to your transition assistant – Juniper Crane.”

Junie extends her hand like it’s a reflex. Jacob Seed’s icy eyes trail from her face, down her neck, and down her arm until his gaze lands on her hand. It takes just a hair too long for Junie to feel comfortable – but he eventually reaches out and grasps her hand in a firm handshake. He gives her the barest of smiles with no shortage of tension.

Junie smiles back, all teeth and dimples. There is something frightening about the man – she wants to get on his good side as quick as she can. His hand tightens around hers slightly when she smiles – just barely a squeeze – but Junie notices.

They drop each other’s hands and Junie feels his eyes bore into her as Mark speaks. She takes the opportunity to scope out the room a bit more – desperate to look anywhere but the man who is so intent on staring into her soul. By the time Mark finishes explaining what they should be doing over the next hour and slinks out of the room, Junie feels holes burned into her from his gaze.

Jacob makes a move to sit back down in his chair and Junie sits across from him, the table feeling too small as she feels her personal space invaded. He smells like coffee and cigarette smoke. Heavy, heavy cigarette smoke.

Seconds tick by and Jacob hasn’t stopped staring at her. Junie shakes off her discomfort and tries to replace her unease with empathy.

He’s a veteran.

He’s probably a shut-in.

He probably has issues like George…

“So...” Junie steels herself with the word, looking straight into his eyes. “I guess we should probably get to know each other. It may be a good start.”

He doesn’t reply, just stares. His expression isn’t blank, or angry, or annoyed. It’s gentle – almost humored.

“Mark already introduced me – my name is Juniper – but you can call me Junie or June. Whatever you want, really. Um… I’ve lived here in Georgia for about a year. Are you from Georgia?”

The questions comes suddenly, and Jacob seems to be taken off guard. He nods, wordlessly.

“Cool. I’m not from here, but I do like it down here. It’s nice and warm. I’m from Montana originally. It’s usually freezing up there this time of the year. A fuck-ton of snow – I mean – excuse me - a lot of snow. Just a lot of it.” Junie fumbles over her words and lets out a self-deprecating laugh.

“Sorry, there goes my professionalism.”

Jacob’s red brows rise a bit and he blinks, a ghost of a smirk on his face. Junie takes it as a good sign.

“Anyways, I took a position at a defense company down here and it’s been a pretty good decision so far. I’ve talked way too much about myself so far, tell me something about yourself.”

“What did you do?”

His voice is like bourbon honey – sweet with just a bit of a bite. Junie finds herself liking it already. The question is lost on her for a moment before she realizes his question. She doesn’t bother asking what he means – she knows what he means. She knows that he knows that she knows, too. She thinks about her answer carefully, looking down at the wood grain on the table.

“What did you do to land yourself here?” He repeats, softer than last time.

Junie looks up, her eyes meeting his. “I don’t feel like I know you well enough to share than information.”

“Get a DUI?” Jacob guesses, his voice barely above a whisper. There’s an air of humor about it – yet it’s still oddly accusatory.

“Cold. Don’t drink much.” Junie matches his tone.

“Slash your boyfriend’s tires?” Jacob guesses again – sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Still cold. Don’t have a boyfriend.” Junie matches the sarcasm.

Jacob hums, “murder?”

“Warmer.” Junie replies, tip-toeing around a truth that she was sure he didn’t know and that she didn’t want to share. He keeps his eyes trained on her. They flick over her features, clearly trying to gauge if she was telling the truth.

“A cute little thing like you hurting someone?” He sneers suddenly, and the flattery she would’ve felt is absorbed into mild irritation.

She smiles, all teeth and dimples again as she utters two words that she hopes will subdue him. “Aggravated assault.”

Jacob is silent and frozen. He is analyzing her again. Her smile fades and she takes a sip of her coffee, eyes never leaving his. As she sets down the cup, he lets out a sudden bark of laughter. It’s not too loud, but it is genuine.

“Maybe one day you’ll tell me the truth, June-bug.” He flashes a bright smile, his eyes wide and bright. The nickname sends butterflies whipping through her stomach. He was sweet-talking her.

He takes a sip of coffee, too. She feels a weight lift off her shoulders – but also some regret. She wishes he’d believe her – to know why she’s there. Honesty is a strong suit of hers. At least, it was before the incident.

“Tell me about yourself. I told you about myself. Let’s even the playing field.” Junie bites through the regret that builds in her and tries to keep the wobbly conversation going. He seems to be in a good mood. She wants to keep it that way.

“Not much to know about me.” Jacob shrugs. “I’m a veteran. You’re going to help me transition back into civilian life.”

“I mean,” Junie starts with a scoff. “I know that much.”

“That’s all there really is to know about me, June-bug.”

“That nickname is gonna stick, isn’t it?” Junie asks with a mock snarl.

He doesn’t reply but nods his head and sips his coffee again.

“Cool. Cool.” Junie concedes and leans forward. “Is there anything that I should know about you in particular? Anything that you would like me to know before we start working together?”

For a split second she thinks that Jacob will break into a full smile – but he doesn’t. He reels himself back in and strokes his stubble roughly. “Nothing I can think of now.”

“Cool.” Junie feels juvenile for using the word cool, but also can’t seem to think of anything else to say. The man makes her nervous – keeps her on edge. She likes it. “So what’s your situation now. I’m at your disposal to help you adjust back to civilian life. What can I do for you – what do you need help with?”

Jacob’s jovial mood sinks considerably, and he grimaces. “Can you handle ugly honesty?”

“Honesty is my specialty.” Junie replies, prepared for anything.

“Look, darlin’, I don’t have much left in me at this point. I don’t a have a job, I don’t have a house or apartment, I’m barely getting by on whatever I do have. I have a drinking problem, a smoking problem, a people problem. I don’t sleep at night. Army is convinced I have PTSD. I don’t have any friends or family left to even give a shit about me. The only reason I’m sitting here in front of you is because the VA will cut off my liquor fund if I don’t put in some sort of effort at this point – and I can’t have that shit happen. I don’t need your help. I don’t need your company. You need me so you don’t get thrown back in the pen and I need you to pretend like you’re helping me.”

The rant is long, pointed, and paints a bigger picture of Junie. She doesn’t want to feel it – but there’s pity that rises out of her. Pity that drives her to do something she will regret.

Not much time passes before she replies. “My brother is a marine. He never told me much but I know he saw a lot of shit and did a lot of shit. He came back just wasn’t the same. The only skill set he gained from the military was waking up early and killing people. That’s not a skill set that leads to a successful life in the civilian world – as I’m sure you know.”

Jacob’s eyes narrow considerably. Junie’s face burns as she watches him grind his jaw.

“Anyways, long sob story short, he developed an addiction to opioids. Turned him onto heroin. He’s an addict and I haven’t heard a single word of him in 8 months. He could be dead for all I know. My other brothers and I used to chase him around and track him down constantly. He would brush us off. He robbed me one time. I just let him. Fuck, I hate what George has become.”

Junie sighs. She would cry if she had the gumption to. She’s cried over George so much that there is not use in crying anymore. “George didn’t seek help. Ever. I know you’re playing this off like you’re backed into a corner or they’ll stop the gravy train but at least you’re here. You know? I’m willing to help. I know people who can get you a job. I know places you can stay. I’ve had plenty of experience helping George.”

“So you think you’re going to save me?” Jacob spits at her quietly. Venom laced words so familiar to Junie. She recognizes the anger – the rapid mood swings – the irritability. Just like George.

“I can help you save yourself.” Junie replies, stonefaced. “But I can’t save you. Only you can save you.”

Jacob works his jaw and thinks. Junie is sure he’s thinking. Maybe he’s thinking of ways to kill her or to get out of this situation – but he’s thinking. Suddenly, the tension in his jaw releases and he looks out the window – smiling a bit.

“That your shitty little car out there? The red one?”

“Yeah.” Junie replies, perplexed by his change in demeanor.

“I saw you walk in. You know what I thought when I saw you?”

Junie doesn’t quite want to know. Not while manic energy is coursing through his veins. She doesn’t respond.

“I thought,” Jacob starts, diverting his eyes from the window and into hers. He leans forward and Junie can’t smell anything but cigarette smoke and coffee. It overwhelms her. She doesn’t budge. “Wouldn’t it be nice to spend a few minutes alone with a pretty little thing like that? This isn’t what I had in mind by a few minutes alone, but I must say you’re a pleasant surprise.”

“You’re trying to make me uncomfortable.” Junie snaps pointedly, keeping her voice low, trying to ignore the very visceral reaction her body is having to his words. “You’re trying to get me to fuck off.”

“I’m just being honest. I thought being honest is your specialty?” He mocks with his smooth, soothing voice. It doesn’t fit him. Junie grits her teeth for a moment and feels a strong sensation of déjà vu settle in. He’s just like George.

“It’s not going to work. You are stuck with me for three days a week over the next six months.” Junie feels emboldened and sips her coffee.

“Oh no – you’re stuck with me, sweetheart.” There’s an edge to his voice that’s even more unsettling. It’s a threat. Or maybe a promise. Junie knows she has to play her cards right.

“So be it. As long as I get my hours in, we’re copacetic.” Junie feels her patience wearing thin and she bristles at the notion of spending more time with the man. He doesn’t look at her. He looks through her.

The conversation settles into a lull and the animosity fizzles into the air. Junie takes her phone out of her back pocket and leans her elbows onto the table. “So what’s your schedule like over the next couple of weeks?”

“What do you think?” Jacob snarls again – as if saying the words pains him.

Junie ignores his snippy attitude and pulls up her (rather empty) calendar. “Are you free tomorrow morning and Saturday afternoon?”

Jacob sighs. “Whatever works for you, sweetheart. You name the time and place and I’ll be there.”

Junie chews on her lip and thinks carefully about how to breech the next topic. “Where are you staying?”

“That wooded area off 32.”

Junie runs a hand over her face, thinking about how many times she’s passed by the sheltered tent city – how many times she’s seen cop cars flooding the area. It’s a hotbed for the homeless. A hotbed for drug-related crime and assault, too.

“No one here has offered to find you a place to stay?”

Jacob shrugs. “Got kicked out of my last place. They know that here. I’m a liability.”

Junie frowns, “You know… I’m pretty chill. If you hadn’t gotten shitty with me earlier, I would’ve offered you a spot on my couch.”

“And you would’ve been fucking stupid to do it.” Jacob snaps, eyeing her with something akin to disgust. Junie feels the insult hit somewhere deep inside of her but continues.

“I know a guy. Let me call him and set you up in a halfway house.”

“No.”

“Yes, Jacob.”

“No, June-bug.”

The nickname leaves his lips so sweetly that she feels flustered – not knowing how to handle the difficult man in front of her. Pangs of guilt sear through her.

“Let me at least start off this partnership right. Let me help you with something.”

Jacob holds her gaze for a long moment. She doesn’t know him, doesn’t trust him, but Junie feels oddly at ease with the man. She knows it’s from years of experience of dealing with men who were scarred and damaged by war.

Jacob smiles and turns his gaze out the window. “There’s a McDonald’s two blocks from here. Buy me lunch.”

Junie feels the weight in her stomach lift a bit and she smiles. “Cool. I can do that.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s been 2 months, and Junie swings between regret and contentment. Early on she likens the feelings of contentment with using her experience with Jacob as some sort of way to right her wrongs with George. Where she went wrong with George – she doesn’t go wrong with Jacob. On the other hand, regret is a strong, pervasive feeling. Jacob Seed is a hard man. Hard in heart, body, mind, and spirit. Hard to read. Hard to get a long with. Hard to handle.

Junie thanks God for her experience with her dad and her brothers – the difficult and terrifying times that helped hardened her for the infuriating hopelessness that Jacob clings to like a life preserver.

_“Here’s my cell phone number.”_

_“I don’t need it.”_

_“Just take it.”_

_“I don’t want it.”_

_“Take it.”_

_“I don’t have a cell phone.”_

_“Then use a pay phone.”_

_“If it helps your pretty little head rest easy at night knowing that I can call you at all hours of the night then so be it, June-bug.”_

_“Thanks.”_

They meet at the VA Medical Center still. Common ground for both to feel safe. They talk about his situation and he pries for personal information on her. They both budge – just a bit. He talks about the Army a bit – talks about Iraq and Afghanistan. Not much, but a bit.

He still doesn’t accept her offer for housing help. He doesn’t really accept much except for his meal from McDonalds. Junie insists on buying him extra to take back to his dwelling. He glowers every time she does.

 _Nugs for the road_ , she jokes as she shoves the bag into his chest. He looks positively murderous when she does it the first time and storms out of the restaurant without her.

He accepts it from then on.

Junie notices his demeanor change around her over their meetings. He trusts her. Trusts her enough to rant to her about goings on in the tent city and about things plaguing society as a whole. Drug addiction and fighting and consumerism and religion. Junie listens patiently as she dips fries in her McFlurry. He grumbles about how disgusting she is. She gives him the usual dimples and teeth. He clams up.

It’s an odd cycle and a bizarre conundrum she finds herself in. Still on administrative leave, she can’t really work. She jogs with Finn around the neighborhood and meets with Jacob. That’s the extent of her week outside of the house. Occasionally she goes out and buys groceries – only to drive by the wooded area on 32 – rubbernecking for a chance to see Jacob.

Trips to the Piggly Wiggly become far with few in between. More often than not, she orders cheap, shitty food that she doesn’t finish and watches reruns of Seinfeld until she dozes off. She loses weight quickly and she breaks out more and her body goes through an all-around hell. She’s depressed. She recognizes the symptoms, accepts them, but can’t really bring herself to do much about it.

She realizes during the fourth week that her life had become centered around a Mr. Jacob Seed.

She doesn’t dare tell him that.

“You’re looking a little worse for wear, June-bug.”

“Hmm?” Junie mutters as she picks at her burger. They’re settled into a small booth at the McDonalds, Junie looking out of the window as the sun sets.

“Pay attention, sweetie.” He grumbles angrily.

“Sorry.” Junie mumbles and rubs her eyes. She catches his steely gaze.

“What’s been going on in your neck of the woods?”

“Nothing much.” Junie sniffs. “Not sleeping much.”

“Legal trouble?”

Junie rolls her eyes and laughs. “That hatchet is buried.”

“Hm.” Jacob hums and looks out of the window.

Junie risks a look at his face. Her heart flutters a bit. She thinks he’s handsome. Well-groomed for someone who is in his situation. Her eyes flicker down to his lips and she wonders how he would kiss her. _Probably angrily_ , she surmises as she pops a small French fry into her mouth.

Jacob clears his throat and Junie’s gaze snaps away almost violently. She stamps down whatever she feels – rationalizes it and locks it away.

She’s lonely. She hasn’t had sex in years. He’s her only regular human contact and she’s incredibly clingy and easily attached and emotional and just about everything else that he would take advantage of.

She doesn’t even have her family with her. A sharp pain finds it’s way from her chest to her fingertips. Junie chews on her lip.

“Do you have any family?” Junie asks quietly.

Jacob looks through her again with his icy eyes. He doesn’t mince his words. “Not much of a family.”

“Are you close to any of em?”

“No.”

“Oh, ok. Cool.” Junie can read him pretty well and can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it. She drops it, trying to ignore the pain she feels. Jacob holds her gaze and swallows the food he was chewing.

“I have two little brothers.” He placates her with a grumble and wipes his unkept mustache clean of food. He rests his elbows on the table. “I haven’t seen them since I graduated bootcamp, if that gives you any indication of how long it’s been since I’ve seen them.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Junie knows the platitude is lost on him when he rolls his eyes. “I know you don’t think I mean it but I do.”

“No, I know you mean it.” He speaks gently, his eyes still boring holes into her. He sneers a bit. Junie knows it’s his way of being playful. “Sweet little thing.”

“Thanks.” Junie raises a brow and purses her lips, feigning arrogance. Jacob smirks a bit and finishes his food. She keeps him company, commenting on this and that – earning a grumble or short comment from him every now and again. The company is very welcome to Junie.

They wrap up, clean up their table and walk out into the muggy evening air. Junie turns to Jacob when they begin to make their separate ways. “Jacob, I… I’m not going to lie. I’ve been going through some bad – stupid bad stuff recently. Meeting with you here has been… nice. Yeah, nice.”

Jacob smirks again and takes a step towards Junie. Junie stops short of wrinkling her nose – he smells like dirt and cigarettes. Jacob reaches for the plait she has resting over her shoulder and runs his finger tips over the ridges of it. “You are a sweet little thing, aren’t you?”

Junie’s heart beats just a tad faster and she pulls her gaze away from his. She lowers her voice conspiratorially and raises her brows. “That’s what they all say.”

The comment is a joke, but Jacob withdraws his hand from her hair as if he’s been burned. Junie feels bad for a moment.

Jacob backs away, expression unreadable. “Goodnight, June-bug.”

“You need a ride?” Junie blurts out. She doesn’t know why she does it. She knows it’s kind of stupid – kind of desperate.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, cool.” Junie deflates a bit as he turns and walks away. She stands under the flickering fluorescent lights of the run-down McDonald’s for a few moments longer before fishing her keys out of her pocket and making her way to her car.


	3. Chapter 3

Four-ish months and progress is slow. The two meet probably more than they need to; a fact that Junie can only hope spawn from some sort of affection that he carries for her. He keeps her at arms length – she tries to do the same.

The day prior to the Fourth of July, Junie wakes up at a time she is too embarrassed to address, goes shopping at the Piggly Wiggly and heads home. Boom. The extent of her day. The drive home is quick and easy, the rush hour traffic gone. Junie operates on auto-pilot until she settles down, fresh out of the shower with Finn curled up by her side on her bed, smelling vaguely of grass. Junie’s thoughts race as she lies in her bed, but they all lead to one man in some way. She tosses and turns until she eventually fades into sleep.

Hours pass, and eventually a gentle ringing stirs her from sleep. Junie jumps, recognizing the sound immediately and fumbles for her phone, effectively knocking Finn out of the bed. The dog rebounds quickly, it’s shadow revealing a wagging tail against the wall. Junie reaches for her phone desperately and brings it to her face. She blinks a few times, checking the number and then the time.

The number is unfamiliar, the time 4:49 in the morning.

Junie answers it without thinking much.

“Hello?” She croaks, voice sleep-laden. She clears her throat and tries again. “Hello?”

There’s silence on the other end.

Junie tries again. “Um… hello?”

“Hey June-bug.” Jacob’s silky voice reaches her ears and Junie feels a twinge of excitement.

“Hey.” Junie replies, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “What’s up?”

“I – I wanted to call you.” His answer is curt but strangely vulnerable. Junie feels uneasy.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jacob replies. “I just… I figured I’d check in on you.”

“At 4 in the morning?”

“I warned you that I would call you at all hours of the night.”

“Didn’t say it was unwelcomed.” Junie laughed a bit, brows creasing as she realizes how odd the behavior is. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you?”

“Found a payphone by the 7-11. Hard to find these damn things anymore.” He grumbles and maybe it’s her sleep-addled mind, but she giggles a bit. She stops quickly.

“Do you need me to come get you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Would you – would you like me to come meet you?”

“No.” He says emphatically, the tone not matching his previous responses.

“Okay,” Junie sighs. “Do you just want to talk?”

“I guess… How are you?” The answer and following question are odd. Junie can surmise that he’s not drunk or high. He sounds perfectly lucid, but something is off.

“I’m fine. I got home and I let Finn out and I just kinda hopped into bed. Didn’t do much this evening. How about you?”

Junie swears she hears a breathy exhale. “Good, good. I’m glad you’re… good. I had an appointment at the VA. After that, I came back to my tent and I read a bit and fell asleep. I woke up and I um… God damn it.” Junie can tell he’s clenching his teeth.

“Jacob,” she starts, keeping her voice soft, “are you sure you don’t want me to come get you? We can just sit in the car and talk. I can – I can drive us around or we can park somewhere. I know that area by the 7-11 is shitty.”

“I’ll be fine, June-bug.” He sighs, defeated.

Junie feels her frustration begin to boil. “I’m gonna come get you.”

“Stop it. No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.” Junie gets up and keep the phone close to her ear while she throws the covers off her legs. The two argue as she moves around the room, pulling on pieces of clothing.

“I’ll hang up.” He threatens at one point. “I’ll hang up and leave the 7-11.”

“I’ll go to the tent city and ask about you.” Junie threatens back on speaker, pulling a tank-top on. She knows that will get him. She knows he cares about her enough to deter her from the sordid gathering off of 32.

There’s a silence on the line that’s uncomfortable.

“Fine. I’ll wait for you.”

“Ok.” Junie smiles triumphantly, picking up her phone and searching for her keys on the floor. “I’ll see you when I get there.”

“Wait.” Jacob pleads cooly. “Wait, just… stay on the phone with me. Until you get here.”

“Can do.” Junie replies casually, as if he weren’t somehow tugging on her heart strings. She locked up her front door and

The drive is pretty short, the conversation consisting of gentle inquiries from him every few minutes or so. Ten minutes after leaving her house, Junie turns into the lit parking lot of the local 7-11. It’s a quiet evening, and it’s easy for her to spot the red head from far away by the pay phones. She parks the car and Jacob hurries over and hops in her car.

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Are you my taxi driver now, too?” Jacob mumbles and snaps his seatbelt.

“You’re the one who called me in the dead of night. You tell me.” Junie mutters as she peeks into her rear view mirror and puts her car into reverse. There’s silence, and Junie is okay with it. She’s fully awake now, jittery because of how close Jacob is to her in the sedan. She knows her infatuation is juvenile in nature, but her life has become so upsetting that she can’t help but cling to anything that brings her a feeling other than misery.

“Tell me about your brother.” Jacob demands quietly from the passenger seat as they driver past a nearby river. Junie keeps her eyes on the road.

“Which one?” Junie chuckles. “My parents have a whole litter.”

“George.”

There’s an impenetrable silence that falls between them. Junie searches for words quickly - desperately. She doesn’t want to ruin the conversation.

“Well… George never talked to me much about what he saw or what he did in Iraq. I know it must’ve been bad. All I do know is that he fought in Fallujah. I’ve heard enough about Fallujah from people who aren’t George to know better than to ask.”

“I was in Fallujah.”

Junie can feel his eyes on her. She feels naked under his gaze and she finds herself wrestling for words. There’s too many things she can say that would be wrong and not nearly enough that would be right. Given that the receiving end of her words is Jacob, it makes it even more difficult to navigate.

“Small world.” The words leave her lips as a small whisper.

“Yeah… small world” Jacob all but growls. He’s not angry, and she thanks God above for that. “What was George like before he went to war?”

“George was… George was… I don’t know. I guess he was a good brother. He was always very sweet and affectionate to me. A very lovey-dovey guy. I’m the second to the youngest and the only girl. I think that kind of worked in my favor with him. Before he went into bootcamp I was just going into middle school, so he didn’t have to deal with the shitty teenage version of me.”

Junie pauses and tries hard to think about George before his first deployment. She tries really hard. She has to. “He used to take me fishing and he taught me how to shoot a gun. Dad was too busy dealing with other stuff to teach me that. George just kind of took over… He didn’t even like, ask, he just barged into my room on a Saturday and told me to get ready to go fishing. He did that kind of stuff, you know?”

“What about after he came back?” Jacob hums, his eyes firmly locked onto her.

Junie’s eyes burn and grips the steering wheel. “Angry. Constantly angry. I mean, worse than you. Just fucking pissed off about everything _all the time._ He would just slam things down and yell about small things all the time. There were good days, but even a part of his good days were spent angry. He got into a fight with Luke one time. Luke is the second oldest. Luke went in the Army before George went into the Marines. Luke is still in. But one Christmas they were both home and they argued over what spoon to use to ladle some sort of sauce. It wound up turning into a huge fight and they broke the table.”

Jacob snorted a short laugh and Junie allowed herself to do the same. “That’s when the drug problem started, actually. He claimed he got injured in the fight – back pain or some shit like that – and started on opioids. Sad shit. Dad kicked him out after that.”

“Your dad a military guy?” Jacob inquired suddenly.

Junie begins to answer and stops short. She thinks carefully – very carefully – about her next words. “Yes. Not in the US military, though.”

Jacob stares at her, then. “Your dad’s not from the US?”

“I guess you could say that.” Junie mumbles, not eager to breech the topic of her dad. Jacob notices. Jacob doesn’t push. Junie is grateful.

The car ride from that point stagnates to a comfortable silence between the two. Observations are brought up and responded to politely – but that’s about it. Junie feels her eyelids droop slightly as the minutes tick into an hour. She fights valiantly, driving aimlessly around the county – through subdivisions, merging onto the highway and leaving, into and out of parking lots. The aimless driving is fun – cathartic, even.

Junie feels a spark of inspiration and sits up straight in the seat, peeking over at the older man. “I have an idea.”

“Hm?”

Junie does a U-turn on the empty street and strengthens her resolve, expecting push-back from the man. “Before I tell you, please don’t fight me on it. I think you need a good nights sleep in a place where you don’t have to hear people fighting and fear that someone will come in and strangle you in your sleep. I’m taking you to my house.”

There’s a shocking silence from the man next to her. She doesn’t push for a response but continues tracing the way back home.

“Ok.” Jacob answers at some point, voice barely above a whisper. Junie can barely contain her smile.

The ride to her house isn’t terribly long. She pulls in the driveway and turns off the car with little to no ceremony. She feels Jacob staring at her but doesn’t want to meet his gaze.

The two quietly exit the car and in a flash, Junie is fumbling with her keys at the door. The lock clicks and before she turns the doorknob, Junie turns to face Jacob, nearly nose to nose with the man. She fights to keep her smile not pathetic. “Please don’t judge my house… It’s a bit… cluttered.”

A pair of blue eyes assess her, crow’s feet at the corner crinkling so slightly that someone else would’ve missed it. Junie smiles back at him and opens the door. Her living room is a welcome sight. Finn is curled up with a spare blanket on the floor, his ears perked up at the sound of the door opening. He stands and stretches, his tail wagging as Junie walks in with Jacob.

Junie feels a wave of self-consciousness wash over her. She locks the door and moves into the room, haphazardly tries to clear off the abandoned plate on the coffee table, the collection of unfinished water bottles on the side table, and the build up of junk mail that has fallen on the floor. Jacob shuts the door behind him and Junie lets out a self-deprecating laugh as she turns to face him. Finn greets the stranger by sniffing his boots and his hand. Jacob kindly reaches down and pats the dog on the head. An instant friendship.

“His name’s Finn. He’s super nice. I rescued him a few months after I moved here.” Junie starts as she bends and grabs and conceals the state she left her living room in. “He likes pretty much everyone. Not too keen on kids, but I don’t have any that hang around here so I think we can work with that.”

“Junie, you don’t need to…” Jacob starts, almost sympathetically.

Junie whips around and realizes that her arms are filled with her mess. She snorts a bit and shifts from foot to foot. “Ok, cool. I just don’t have much company and I… I guess I’m not the most responsible adult when it comes to cleaning. I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit embarrassed. It’s my mom coming out, y’know?” Junie’s words taper off with a laugh and she deposits the items where she thinks they need to be – the whole process taking a couple of minutes. She flits between the kitchen and the living room, insisting that Jacob sits down and makes himself at home.

Junie moves to sit with him but suddenly freezes, her face flushing as memories of her childhood creep back to her- reminding her that she’s being a terrible host. Junie all but runs to the kitchen and grabs a large bag of barbecue chips and a couple of water bottles.

“You’re trying to impress me, June-bug?” Jacob teases, his voice raspy and eyes droopy. Junie can tell he’s exhausted.

“Depends – are you impressed?” She teases as she opens up the bag of chips and offers him some. Jacob takes a handful and eats them noisily. Junie cringes at the noise, but drowns it out with her own chewing.

Jacob swallows and nods. “Pretty impressed. You’re more of a host than my mom ever was.”

Junie hums thoughtfully but doesn’t respond – not keen on prying on this issue. He’s brought up his mother before in passing. Every expression negative and words disparaging. Junie could read the relationship like a book.

“Junie, I’m sorry for troubling you like this…”

“It’s no trouble.” Junie quickly interrupts, determined to squash any guilt rising in him.

“Let me talk, girl.” Jacob groans and rolls his eyes. “I was saying I’m sorry for troubling you but I really appreciate this. I haven’t been sleeping well and these – fuck – these god damn fireworks are driving me insane.” Jacob all but growls the last part of his sentence.

It hits Junie like a ton of bricks. The days leading up to the fourth are like the prelude to war itself – a stray bottle rocket popping off here and there or some firecrackers thrown into a metal trashcan acting as a skirmish here and a car bomb there. Junie knows all too well because she was the asshole teen who did that shit back in Montana. Fireworks and PTSD don’t mix well. She feels like an idiot.

“Stay here until the 6th.” Junie speaks without really thinking.

There’s a silent and both parties reach stalemate with stone-faces.

Junie expects a fight – expects push back – but he doesn’t.

Jacob yawns and nods his head. “I don’t have any of my stuff, though.”

“There’s stuff here.” Junie responds enthusiastically.

“Clothes, Junie.” Jacob rolls his eyes again.

“I can take you back to your tent tomorrow to get your stuff. You can wash them while you stay here. I don’t mind!” Junie thinks that her face will split open if she smiles anymore.

Jacob keeps his expression neutral. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem… Cool… So I have some extra blankets and I do have a spare room here, but I don’t have a bed or anything for it. It’s your choice if you want the couch or the privacy of the spare room.”

“Couch is fine.” Jacob drones.

“Cool! The couch is super comfy. I’ve fallen asleep on it a lot recently. I got this thing for a steal.” Junie slaps the couch cushion and stands to walk across the room to a small closet. She draws the doors back and gets spare blankets and a pillow for him. She tosses them on the couch and beckons him to stand. “Let me give you the grand tour real quick.”

Junie leads him from room to room.

“The Kitchen is yours, man. If your hungry or thirsty make yourself at home. I stocked up today!”

“Here’s the bathroom – there’s another full bathroom off of my bedroom, so this one is basically yours. I keep my beach towels in here.”

“This is a linen closet and I don’t use it.”

“This is where my washer and dryer are. The dryer is finicky and I fucking hate it.”

“This is the spare room. There’s no furniture because I’m house poor.”

“This is my bedroom. I do lock the door as a habit so please don’t be offended if you try to get in but it’s locked. I do it because I’m usually naked in this room and I’m afraid that in the event a serial killer breaks in here, I’ll be killed while naked and I don’t want the cops to find me naked.”

Junie opens the door to her bedroom before closing it very quickly. She flushes, turning to face the red-head. “I change my mind about showing you that room. Let me sleep and clean up a bit, first.”

Jacob raises an eyebrow and leans down. Junie feels goosebumps wash over her arms as he comes back up and leans closer to her, his tired eyes squinting with the hint of a smile. “You afraid I’ll see something like this?”

Junie’s eyes leave his and flash to where a lace bralette hangs from his index finger by a dainty strap. Junie snatches it and scowls – her embarrassment evident. “Not afraid.”

“Mmm. Then what?” Jacob hums a bit too long and the embarrassment ebbs off into something Junie has difficulty identifying. It feels flirtatious.

Junie takes the bait like the stupid, stupid fish she is.

“I’d just rather you see it _on me_ , is all.” Junie holds the straps up to her shoulders and lets the garment hand in front of her chest. She catches her tongue between her teeth, her heart beating a bit too fast for her liking.

Jacob, unfazed, raises a brow. “Get some sleep, June-bug.”

Junie drops the bra to her side and returns the quirked brow. “You get some sleep, Jake.”

The use of his nickname seems to catch his attention and he quirks a small smile before turning to walk back toward the living room. An idea crashes into Junie suddenly and she calls out for him.

Jacob looks back at her. Junie clears her throat. “You can turn the TV on if you like. The sound is really good and helps drown outside noise out. I can’t hear it from the bedroom, so you’re clear to turn it up.”

“Thanks.” Jacob nods his head and walks back to the living room.

Finn scurries around the corner and bounds toward Junie, eager to go to bed.

Junie lets the dog in the bedroom before stepping in and closing the door. She locks it – the old habit incredibly important tonight. Junie looks around her messy bedroom and vows to clean it up as soon as she wakes up. A few more bras a strewn across different surfaces – lacy underwear sticking haphazardly out of the drawer. Lotion and perfume bottles littering her dresser while her nightstand is covered by water and pill bottles. Junie doesn’t strip down but gets as comfortable as she can as she curls up in her bed. There’s a pang of guilt as she reaches into her nightstand drawer and pulls out her 1911, setting it carefully on top of her nightstand. She feels like she can trust the man – but she doesn’t know for sure.

As she pulls on the string to turn her lamp off, Junie hears the TV in the living room turn on – the volume just low enough that she can’t hear. She smiles as she nuzzles into her pillow.

* * *

Morning dawns, and Junie is hyperaware of it. She hops out of bed and begins picking up her room. Cleaning her room consists of shoving embarrassing articles of clothing or questionable contraband in places that were at least hidden from a visitor’s line of sight. She steps carefully around Finn as she prances around the room quietly, eyesight still blurry from sleep. It doesn’t take long and isn’t the most thorough cleaning she’s ever done – but it looks considerably better.

Junie goes through her morning rituals in the bathroom and tries not to think too hard about why she’s plucking her eyebrows and dabbing on makeup – something that she usually doesn’t do on any given morning.

Satisfied with how she looks and starting to question her attraction to the man sleeping in her living room, Junie hastily dresses and leaves her bedroom. Quietly walking down the narrow hallway, she hears the local news coming from the living room. She doesn’t know what to expect, but her attempts at polite silence are ruined by Finn darting past her and barreling into the living room.

“Finn!” Junie hisses as she leaps forward, trying to grab the dog. Her stomach sinks.

A deep rumble echoes from the living room. “Mornin’ June-bug.”

Junie lets out a sigh of relief and rounds the corner into the living room. Jacob is lounging on her couch, blanket wrapped around him as he lazily watches the news with his legs propped up on the coffee table. Finn rears on his hind legs and places his front paws on the man, tail wagging furiously as Jacob pets him.

“Good morning!” Junie chirps as she steps over his propped up legs and plops on the couch next to him. She feels his body heat radiating out and she fights the urge to sink back just a bit so their shoulders would touch. “How did you sleep?”

“Great. Didn’t hear a damn thing.” Jacob mumbles as he continues to pet Finn, his eyes glued to the TV.

“Cool… cool.” Junie smiles at him and turns her attention to the TV, feeling more content that she has in years.


	4. Chapter 4

The next two months crawl by so slowly that Junie begins to wonder if time is even moving at all. Her days meld into each other and her sleep schedule becomes so dysfunctional that she doesn’t even know how to fix it. Her paychecks come in, severely cut, but at least there’s something to take on her mortgage and keep up her utilities. Cheap food is all she can afford. At the end of the two weeks between paychecks, she notices that her stomach growls more and she starts to sweat just a bit.

At times, Junie feels at odds with the man she’s welcomed into her life. His moods wax and wane rapidly. She still deals with the bitter and defeated man she met through the VA. But as time passes and their relationship grows, Junie sees glimpses of someone else – of someone so radically different that she has trouble figuring out who she’s talking to. It’s a bold, brazen Jacob who flirts with her openly. It’s a chatty, idealistic Jacob who enthuses with her about living off the grid in the Rocky Mountains. It’s an enthusiastic, well-read Jacob who shares dog-training techniques.

Junie surmises that these glimpses are of an apparition of Jacob Seed before the horrors of war. He’s not untouched by the world – having suffered abuse after abuse by parents and the state – but he’s still whole. He’s not missing pieces of himself. He’s not carrying the cross of week-long sieges and watching his friends die.

As shitty as she feels about it, Junie favors _that_ Jacob. She’s found ways of luring him out of the abyss of the new Jacob Seed’s subconscious. She hones in on his interests and provides him a safe space to talk about it. It works, too. More and more, Junie sees the Jacob she likes. She fishes for his interests, buys him books, rents movies and documentaries for them to watch together. She’s addicted to seeing the Jacob she likes – it brings her a high that’s difficult to explain.

Aside from their growing friendship, Junie diligently continues her work with Jacob. His walls begin to crack and he lets Junie in… in more ways than one. He accepts her help with finding a manual labor position at a local packing facility. An old coworker of hers a manager at the place, it only took a phone call and brief explanation to secure Jacob an interview.

_The night before the interview, Junie corrals Jacob into her house to help him get ready. He accepts her help like a reluctant child dealing with his overbearing mother. She takes him to Goodwill to find some new clothes and lets him shower and shave. He stays at her house and she drives him to the facility._

_“Good luck!” Junie taps him on the arm as he unfastens his seatbelt to go into the facility. She can barely contain her excitement._

_Jacob snarls at her, his freshly-shaven face a real sight for sore eyes despite the angry expression. Junie’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “Settle down.”_

_“No.” Junie shakes her head and bounces in her seat._

_Jacob rolls his eyes and hastily exits the car, clearly desperate to get away from her._

_Junie all but bounces in the car as she waits and waits and waits and waits. She explained the situation to her old coworker – painting the picture of a damaged hero fallen on hard times so well that she almost could forget how much of a dick Jacob actually is. She knows the position is an easy snag. Jacob has the skills to do the job. Junie has the tongue to make people feel bad for him. It’s a pretty good scheme._

_Jacob returns to the car about 45 minutes later, stone-faced and holding a sheet of paper. He gets in the car and Junie bombards him immediately._

_“So?”_

_“ **So** help me God if you don’t wipe that stupid smile off your face I’ll rip it off.” Jacob grumbles as he buckles his seatbelt._

_Junie’s smile returns as she notices his crow’s feet wrinkle just a bit. “You got the job, didn’t you?”_

_Jacob quirks a brow, his red hair falling out of place just over right eye. Junie’s hand twitches – she wants to tuck it back in place._

_“I did.” Jacob smirks and the twitch in Junie’s hand suddenly overtakes her body. She reaches over the console awkwardly to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him as best as she can from the angle. He smells like low-end cologne and shaving cream. It makes Junie a bit dizzy. He chuckles but doesn’t return the hug. Junie holds him for a second longer than she should’ve, enjoying how warm he is._

_She pulls away and lets out a big sigh. “I’m proud of you.”_

_Jacob Seed looks down and his face flushes a bright red. “Thanks, June-bug.”_

_“No problem.” Junie likes the blush on him. Her mind wanders to places it shouldn’t go; if that blush would creep up his neck like that if she sat in his lap and kissed the nicks that marred his freshly-shaven skin._

_“Stop staring at me.” The man grumbles angrily. Junie snaps out of it, a flush creeping up her own neck._

* * *

The two stayed in most of the time, talking about this and that and bonding over their mutual love of fried chicken. A lovely coincidence, the man is all but obsessed with getting his hands on some good fried chicken; Junie’s favorite food. She drives him around to different fried chicken joints when she can afford to and they find themselves devolving into heated debates about which one is better.

_“This ain’t bad. Churches is the best, though.” Jacob grumbles one sunny day as they sit and eat on a Popeye’s Chicken patio._

_“Popeye’s is the best and you can’t dispute that.”_

_“Shut up,” Jacob groans emphatically, mouth full of chicken. “Of course you would like these big, international corporate fuckers that probably pump their chicken full of hormones and shit…”_

_“If Popeye’s pumps their chicken full of hormones then I don’t mind because it’s the best fucking fried chicken joint I’ve ever eaten at.” Junie growled back, uncharacteristically hostile as she leans over her basket, crumbs on her face._

* * *

Aside from bonding over fried chicken, they reveal a bit more about themselves. Junie figured that if she could handle him staying with her for three days then she could at least tell him a little more about herself. She learns he’s an awfully curious man.

_“What’s your dad do?” Jacob asks as they sit outside on her porch one chilly evening._

_“I don’t know. Lives out in the forest and hunts animals and chops wood like some Daniel Boone lookin’ dude.”_

_Jacob snorts. “He’s still in Montana, right?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Do you talk to him?”_

_“Not really.”_

_“What about your mom?”_

_“She’s dead.”_

_Silence. A mutual friend of theirs that appears regularly._

_Junie breaks it, “What about your parents?”_

_“Dead. Both of them. Good fucking riddance.” Jacob growls and he takes a drag from his cigarette._

_“Oh.” Junie squeaks and rubs her hands together, becoming colder as the minutes drag on. Jacob eyes her before scooting closer. Their hips touch. He doesn’t say anything and Junie’s heart races._

* * *

Near the end of September, there’s a level of comfort that’s reached that Junie never expected to reach with him. There’s no reason they get together on that Saturday night. He pops in with a twelve pack of shitty beer and they watch reruns of nature documentaries on her couch, buzzed and warm.

_“My dad used to beat the shit out of me when I was a kid.” Jacob slurs his words a bit, brow furrowed as he watches the documentary._

_Junie takes longer than usual to process his words. The statement seems like it comes up at an odd time. They weren’t talking about anything that had to do with abuse or childhood. She blinks slowly and looks back at the TV, where the narrator describes disciplinary action taken by an alpha wolf on a younger member. The wolf’s jaws are wide around the younger one’s neck, teeth bared and pressed against the other’s neck just enough to frighten it. The pup’s tucked tail wags and it bares its teeth back to the alpha, ears pinned as it tries to crawl away._

_“He sounds like he was a piece of shit.” Junie replies, her booze-addled brain replacing the alpha with an angry man and replacing the young pup with a scared little red-headed boy. Her chest aches._

_“He was.” Jacob grumbles and leans his head back to stare at the ceiling. Junie watches him carefully – as if he were a wild animal that may strike her at any moment. “He used to… He would take the belt to my brothers and I for the stupidest of shit. He was fucking nutty – completely nuts with this religious bullshit.”_

_“What kind of religious bullshit?” Junie inquires and her eyes trace the imaginary line from his eyes to the ceiling – trying to see whatever he was so intently looking at._

_“One time he beat me because Joseph and I went to see a play with our school– fuckin’ Gone with the Wind…” The title drawls out into a lazy laugh. Junie frowns and turns her head to watch the man’s profile against the darkened room. “He marched into the school and caused a scene. Started screaming at our teachers and the principal about how God will pour hellfire on Hollywood like he did to Sodom and Gomora.”_

_“He didn’t like rock music and stuff like that?” Junie asks, her voice quiet and gentle._

_“Oh hell no.” Jacob answers enthusiastically and turns to face her. Their eyes lock. “Didn’t like any kind of music really. Didn’t like anything that wasn’t scripture.”_

_He turns his whole body on the couch to face her, and she’s tempted to do the same. The alcohol has made her so sluggish that she doesn’t want to move. Her lips part as she watches him. His gaze flickers across her face. “You know what’s really funny?”_

_“What?” Junie asks, although she’s sure she won’t find it funny._

_“He was an alcoholic. A raging fucking alcoholic.” Jacob laughs, “Pretty sure there’s scripture about not being a drunk or some shit…”_

_“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Junie feels the scripture leave her lips with a mild stutter as she tries to recall it in English. Jacob smiles at her._

_“Did you grow up with religious nuts, too?”_

_“Not nearly as nuts as your family.” Junie laughs and lolls her head back. There’s movement on the couch next to her but she doesn’t bother looking back at him. “They didn’t beat me like yours beat you. I didn’t get beat often but I probably deserved it when it did happen. I was an absolute shit as a child.”_

_Junie feels a warm touch on her arm and she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling. She hears Jacob chuckle. “Mmm, I’m sure you were a shit… Did you ever land yourself into juvie?”_

_Junie snorts and raises her head to look at him. She realizes how close he’s moved to her and how his gaze is locked on his fingers which trail up and down the inside of her forearm. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth after whispering her answer. “No.”_

_“I did.” Jacob replies – awfully proud of himself._

_“What did you do?” Junie inquires as she watches his fingers dance over her skin._

_“Dad started beating my little brother John.” Jacob starts with a sigh and removes his fingers from her arm. She misses the contact immediately. “John’s much younger than me… I… I didn’t… The cops found out and took us all away from him and my mom. We were put into foster care. It was just as bad as being with our dad. I…”_

_His words trail off into silence and he brings his gaze back up to her face. Junie isn’t blind. She sees his eyes lock on to her lips. Junie knows not to trust the alcohol but just can’t help herself. She wets her lips, her actions a bit slower than they otherwise would’ve been – her tongue lingering just a moment too long on her thick bottom lip. Jacob huffs and looks away, red creeping up from his shirt collar._

_“I set their farm on fire.” Jacob rasps out._

_Junie laughs heartily and lets her head loll back again. She knows better than to laugh at the situation but she conjures up an image of a young, pissed-off Jacob Seed wearing a scowl and surrounded by flames. Her laughter dies down and she risks a look at him. He’s not angry – good sign._

_“So did you do it?” She asks scandalously – her playfulness getting the best of her as she turns to face him, leaning forward until their noses are almost touching._

_He looks perplexed for a moment. “Do what?”_

_“Did you kill them?”_

_“No, dumbass,” Jacob starts and rolls his eyes. Junie deflates against the couch and leans her head against the back of it. “They wouldn’t have sent me to juvie for murder.”_

_“Ah…” Junie breathes out and rubs her eyes._

_“You’re awfully pretty, though.” Jacob mutters under his breath and tugs on a stray black curl that fell out of her bun._

_Junie jokingly winces as she chokes out her reply. “You should’ve said that before you called me a dumbass.”_

_“You can be a pretty dumbass.” Jacob twists the curl around his finger. Thin lips curl into a smile behind his unkept red moustache. The illusion of romance is back and Junie tries her damnedest to hold onto it._

_“You’re not too bad yourself.” Junie gives him a broad smile and chuckles when he withdraws, letting the curl bounce back into place from his finger. The flush creeps back to his neck. The red emboldens her. “You’re awfully handsome.”_

_Jacob sneers._

_Junie feels her own face flush from frustration. “I’m telling the truth. I think I’ve made it pretty obvious that I think you’re attractive.”_

_“You’ve made it plain as day, girl.” Jacob says with stunning confidence that Junie only gets glimpses of now and then. “You’re so **kind** and **sweet** to me. You help me constantly. You’re awfully handsy with me. You let me crash at your place. You ogle me all the damn time.” Jacob pauses, tilting his head to the side. “I know you think I’m attractive. What I’m trying to figure out is if you’re really off your rocker or if you’re stupid enough to keep trying this with me.”_

_“Do I need a reason? Do I really need to be insane or stupid to be attracted to you?” The alcohol bares Junie’s truth without her consent. Her words are slurred together but nonetheless serious._

_Jacob shakes his head. “If you knew half the things that I’ve done you wouldn’t be so attracted to me.”_

_Junie scoffs. “If you knew half the things that I’ve done you wouldn’t be sitting on my couch right now.”_

_The mood goes from hot to cold in an instant. The conversation has died, and with it any joviality or flirtatiousness. The two turn their attention back to the screen and continue watching as if what had been said between them hadn’t been said. Probably for the best, Junie decides._

_It’s about five minutes later when Jacob responds, his tone even and calm. “So you **are** insane.” _

_“Shut up.” Junie snorts._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments! I know this story is kind of odd, but it's been a pet project for awhile and I can't seem to shake it. I'm glad others can enjoy it. :) Take care!

Today is a good day for Junie.

She woke up this morning peachy and excited. She dressed in the nicest business-casual attire she had, went down to the courthouse with her documentation and a few hours of hurry up and wait later, she was a free woman.

Not totally free, of course – but she was officially off probation.

Naturally, the first thing she does when she hops into her car and pull out her phone. She doesn’t need to scroll through a mass of names to find the most contacted person according to her phone.

“I regret getting this stupid cellphone.” There’s that silky smooth voice.

“Hi stranger,” Junie chirps. “Guess where I’m at?”

“Popeye’s to pick me up lunch?”

Junie’s eyes narrow despite him not being able to see her. “I thought Churches was best?”

“I’m on break right now, what do you want?” He sounds irritable, but she knows better.

“I just wanted to share the good news that I’ve officially repaid my debt to society and am now free woman.”

“Finally,” he sighs dramatically, “you can leave me alone.”

“You wanna come over tonight?” She ignores the comment and starts the ignition.

“Sure.”

“Cool.” She all but sings as she backs out of her parking space, phone pinched in between her cheek and her shoulder. “What time should I pick you up?”

“I’ll walk. How about 6?”

“Sounds good. Call me if you need anything.”

There’s a noncommittal grunt on the other end of the line before he mutters a quick ‘bye’ and the line goes dead. Junie drops her phone onto the passenger seat and drives.

There aren’t many things that make Junie super nervous anymore. Getting arrested tested her nerves, being thrown in jail tested her nerves, probation tested her nerves, Jacob tested her nerves – but nothing has tested her nerves like the drive to her next destination.

Aggravated assault is a difficult offense to justify, lest ignore completely. After the incident, Junie’s employer was gracious enough to let her be placed on administrative leave before determining what to do with her next. Junie was a good employee, close to her boss, and more importantly, good at making her employer money. However, things had been suspended – left hanging in some sort of limbo – since the incident. That is, until today.

Junie traced the familiar trek to her place of work and parked in silence. She had plenty of time to think about what this day would look like, but she tried to keep her expectations realistic. Junie tucked her file folder under her arm and exited the car, feet tracing the pathway and step around the newly built industrial park until she found the building she’d been looking for – a clean and understated sign reading _Kalashnikov USA_ mounted above the door.

There is a new young man working the front desk – but Junie surmises that he was told to expect her presence today. He eyes her politely before donning a look of understanding. He stands, arm reaching out to take her hand.

“Good morning – I take it that you’re June?”

“I am, yes.” Junie stutters and takes his hand.

“I’m Dima, I just started a few weeks ago.”

“Nice to meet you, Dima.” Junie smiles, her nerves jumping wildly.

“Mr. Chernov is expecting you. I’ll go let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you.” Junie says as the young man walks away.

She doesn’t sit in the too-clean, white chairs that line the lobby. She doesn’t need to. Dima reappears as quickly as he disappeared from the small hallway, Mr. Chernov following close behind. Mr. Chernov, a Russian-American man of an average stature, is a welcome sight to Junie. He’s a man close to her father’s age, build and history, yet looks nothing like him. His graying hair is swiped neatly to the side, face cleanly shaven, his suit clearly tailored to fit him. He offers her a very small smile when he sees her.

There’s a flurry of polite welcome and a rather stiff hug that Junie wishes didn’t happen. She finds herself whisked back into Mr. Chernov’s familiar office and as soon as the door closes she lets out a sigh.

“Sit down, June.” Mr. Chernov requests politely. His accent is something Junie has always been perplexed by. It’s there, but it also isn’t. It curls around certain words in certain context. It’s always curled around her name. She’s has a pretty clear picture as to why.

Junie sits and keeps her back straight – an old habit of being around her father.

Mr. Chernov sits behind his seat, dark eyes boring into her. He’s not unfriendly, not angry even, but he’s still displeased about the whole situation. “It’s been a rough six months for this office.”

Junie remains silent and stone-faced.

“We haven’t had a chance to speak since I posted your bail.” There’s something pointed about his words. Junie can read behind them. She still doesn’t speak.

His next words really catch Junie’s attention – not because his raising ire gets the best of him – but rather because they’re spoken in her mother tongue.

“ _I shouldn’t have to tell you that someone in your situation should tread lightly and not have the eyes of the authorities on you_. _You’re so very blessed to have had as many chances as you’ve had. Need I remind you that most of your family never received more than one chance?”_

Junie feels the sharpened thorns of shame scrape at her insides. She bites her tongue.

“ _Furthermore, you drew the gaze of those same eyes to my business_.” Mr. Chernov’s cool and collected face is betrayed by the vitriol in his tone. Junie swallows and cast her gaze down at her hands.

“ _Where is your father?”_ Mr. Chernov asks after a few moments of silence. His tone much calmer.

Junie wrestles with words – trying to produce a coherent sentence in her mother tongue. “ _He’s in Montana. I don’t know what he’s doing. I haven’t talked to him since last Christmas.”_

Chernov scoffs, “ _he comes to America with the promise of a safe future for his kids but winds up becoming a useless, deadbeat hermit_.”

Junie doesn’t take the offense to heart. In fact, she agrees with it. She doesn’t respond but keeps her gaze locked on the floor.

“Let me see the folder.” Mr. Chernov asks in English again. Junie hands over the folder.

Minutes tick by in silence as he looks through the contents of the folder carefully. He flips through the pages slowly. Junie wants to scream at him. Eventually he closes it with a hearty exhale. He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.

“June, you will be reinstated to your position as it stood before your arrest. You may begin again next week. I’ll have Dima start the paperwork to get you back up to speed on Monday morning.”

The weight is lifted. Junie feels like she could cry.

“ _Consider my mercy in this situation a favor. One I owed to your father. I won’t help you again. You need to learn how to handle yourself as an adult_.” Mr. Chernov adds on quietly. Junie nods her head and thanks him profusely.

Mr. Chernov stands, and Junie follows his actions. He brings Junie in for a short embrace that feels tense and releases her. He offers her a tight smile. “I will see you on Monday.”

“Yes – thank you.”

There’s a brief farewell and it moves by as a blur until Junie is sitting in her car, hands shaking. She takes several deep breaths and leans her head back against the headrest. There’s release but apprehension – a creeping nervousness that’s already threatening to overtake her. She chews on the inside of her lip and shakes her head clear, viewing this as a blessing. She has her job back – she can take care of herself again.

With a resolute sigh, Junie turns on the ignition and moves to back out of the parking space – eager to get home.

* * *

Junie gets home and immediately begins cleaning. Jacob hasn’t been by in the last weeks, so she hasn’t had much of a reason to clean. It eats up time that would’ve been spent sleeping or watching Netflix, so she feels far more productive than she probably should.

The hours pass and Junie is all but jumping in anticipation to see Jacob. It’s been two weeks since they’ve seen each other outside of their final few meetings at the VA. No house visits or fried chicken runs. It’s made her feel a bit neglected – but she knows his absence is for the better. He has a job with responsibilities, now. Just like she will. She wonders vaguely if he will miss her once she starts to work again. The prospect makes her smile a bit as she changes into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

Junie waits for Jacob about 30 minutes for he arrives. She paces around the door and the front bay window, eyes peeking out for a sign of the familiar ginger. Her phone buzzes on one of the passes by the door and she pulls it from her pocket. She half-expects it to be Jacob – but it isn’t. It’s a number she hasn’t seen in a long time. She answers quickly.

“Mikey?”

“Hey Junie.” Her little brother greets her with a pleasant tone. Junie smiles.

“How are you?” She asks, sitting down on the couch.

“I’m good, good. How are you?”

Junie hesitates, not wanting to really rehash the last 6 months. “Umm… pretty good. Much better in the last few weeks but okay, y’know?”

“Yeah…” Mikey says with a sigh.

A realization hits Junie then. Mikey never calls her. Ever. Never ever. She has to fight for contact with her little brother like she’s pulling his teeth. In fact, he’s so resistant to talking with her that he _hung up_ on her when she called him in tears from the jail. The memory embitters Junie temporarily, until she rationalizes it like she has over the last 8 months;

_He’s a college kid_

_He’s easily scared_

_He didn’t know what to do_

_I’m his older sister, I shouldn’t be the one calling him for shit like that_

The young man lets out a breathy laugh. “I was um… Look, I have a favor to ask.”

“Yeah?” Junie asks apprehensively.

“I was taking this class last semester and my professor was a dick. I wound up failing it and I really need to take it again but because I failed it, my financial aid won’t cover it.”

Junie can smell the bullshit. She can actually smell it. She chews on her bottom lip as he continues to spin a sob story. She’s torn.

“Mikey…” She begins after he finishes asking her for two grand. “I… Look… I don’t know about this right now.”

Mikey sighs. “Come on, Junie. I know you make good money, I’m not dumb. I don’t need it right now but maybe in a week or so?”

Junie feels guilt worming into her heart. “What’s it really for?”

“It’s for the class.”

“This family has a bad habit of lying for money.” Junie explains. “I’m not saying you’re lying, but please understand where I’m coming from.”

“I’m not George.” Mikey snaps over the line. Junie closes her eyes and thinks of ways out of this one.

“I know you’re not George. I just want to know what the money is really for.”

“It’s for the class, Junie.” Mikey’s voice has a new edge to it – not just irritated but angry.

A knock at the door startles Junie and her head whips around to see a familiar red-head standing outside of her door. His hair has grown out a bit, but is kept neat. Her heart flutters a bit. Junie holds up a finger and switches her phone to her other shoulder. She stands and moves to the door slowly.

“Mikey, I – I can’t do this right now. Someone is over. Can you give me some time to think about it?”

“If you’re broke just be honest.” Mikey grumbles.

“I’m not broke,” Junie quips back quietly. “I just -”

“You said you would take care of this family if dad didn’t.”

“Mikey, just give me time.” Junie whispers harshly.

The line dies and she brings her phone down to see that her bother had endeed th call. Junie puts her phone in her pocket and tries to ignore the way her eyes burn. She’s ashamed and guilt eats at her inside – her jovial mood all but gone. Junie reaches for the doorknob and unlocks it.

Jacob’s eyebrows furrow and he opens his mouth to speak. Junie holds up a hand. “I know I look upset, I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you in trouble?” Jacob asks as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him.

“No, no.” Junie mumbles and steps back. Finn welcomes Jacob with a tail wag and a bow. Jacob pets the dog and his icy eyes find Junie again. She stares back and smiles – a realization hitting her in the gut. “Thank you for being a good friend.”

“What?” Jacob deadpans, brows raised.

Junie feels embarrassed suddenly. She crosses her arms, trying to not appear as defensive as she feels. “I’m just saying thanks for caring about me.”

Jacob smiles with his eyes. “Who says I care about you?”

“Shut up.” Junie groans and takes a seat on the couch. Jacob joins her.

The night is spent in comfortable company. They get food delivered to the house and lounge around, watching movies and documentaries like they always do. Jacob is a bit more talkative and inquisitive – something that Junie equates to him trying to brighten her slightly dampened spirit. Junie’s good mood does return, but she can’t shake the nagging feeling of guilt eating away at her. She forces herself to perk up at one point, forces herself to sit up straight and not slouch into the fluffy comfort of her couch as another documentary starts.

“I got my job back, by the way.” Junie exclaims through a mouthful of pizza.

Jacob’s thick brows raise considerably, and he nods – clearly more polite than her, as she continues talking with her mouth full of food.

“I went back and talked to my boss today. He’s a family friend, so I’ve known him for years. Like an uncle to me. He had mercy and is letting me start back again on Monday.”

Jacob swallows his mouthful, “that’s good news.”

“Yep.” Junie rips into the final bit of the slice of pizza she’d been working on.

“You said you work in defense. What company do you work for?”

“Kalashnikov USA.” Junie has trouble saying the name with a mouthful of pizza, a slight accent gracing the word as she said it.

For the first time since she’s known Jacob, he seems actually surprised. He reaches for the remote and pauses the documentary.

“You’re Russian, aren’t you?”

Junie sighs and places the massive slice of pizza she was working on down. “I’m not _really_ Russian. I’m Georgian. Not the state – the country. I was born in the Soviet Union. When it fell, my parents came here. My mom died. Dad’s alive.”

“What’s your real name?” Jacob asked suspiciously.

“Junie is an English nickname for my real name. It’s close enough. You won’t ever know what my birth name was.” Junie says as seriously as she can muster, a slight frown appearing on her face. “No one except my family knows that. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“You a spy?” It’s a joke. She’s heard it about a thousand times before. Jacob is her friend so she musters just enough mercy to actually laugh at it.

“I’d be a pretty shitty spy. Getting arrested and going to jail and all of that.”

Jacob snorts and drops the conversation. Junie mulls over his choice to drop it. She knows he respects her secrets because h has secrets of his own. That much is crystal clear. They watch the documentary. There’s not much conversation for the next hour or so – just occasional comments or observations.

The screen fades to black, the credits roll, and Junie realizes she’s slumped considerably into the couch – only a few inches away from Jacob. She feels his gaze on her and she twists her head around to look at him.

“See somethin’ you like?” Junie bites out ironically, motioning to her unflattering pose with a wave of her hand.

Jacob raises a brow. “You flirting with me?”

“I’m always flirting with you.” Junie rolls her eyes with great exaggeration.

“I don’t know if I’d call harassment flirting, but…” Jacob trails off and Junie swears he inches a bit closer to her.

Junie doesn’t know if it’s the manic high from her triumph over probation and unemployment or the gaping hole the interaction with her bother left in her chest, but she feels brazen. Brow quirked, she musters up as much long-lost sensuality as she can. “Stay the night.”

The meaning isn’t lost on Jacob. His eyes roam over her body, lingering at the exposed bit of flesh at her hipbone – where her shirt had ridden up just a smidge. Heat blooms in Junie’s stomach.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” His narrowed eyes and cheeky smirk betray his words.

Something inside of Junie snaps and she feels herself rising abruptly. “I…” Junie hums as she leans into the man. Jacob remains unmoving – a statuesque presence on her outdated couch. Junie presses herself into him – a strange mix of lust and desperation for intimacy driving her. He’s pliant, letting her climb into his lap, straddling him. Junie presses her chest into his, exhaling headily as his warmth floods her.

Jacob wraps an arm around her – supporting her frame as his other hand rests on her thigh. Jacob eyes her again, his narrowed gaze meeting hers at the end of his survey. “You are crazy.”

“Completely insane,” Junie hums as she wraps her arms around his neck.

“’m not gonna fuck you.” Jacob squeezes her thigh and brings his nose to brush against hers.

Junie huffs out a laugh and closes her eyes. “Cool.”

Eyes closed and nerves buzzing, Junie chases his lips with hers. He kisses her aggressively, head tilted and thin lips pressed harshly against her own. A spike of warmth hits Junie as she realizes his reciprocity.

Junie would be embarrassed about being so out of practice if it weren’t so glaringly obvious that he is as well. Minutes of closed-mouth kisses giving way to bolder expressions. Junie’s hands have a mind of their own – so overtaken by lust that she runs them wherever she can. Jacob accepts her touch, and her delving kisses, and the way she’s let her knees part further to allow as much contact against him as she can get. She’s grateful he accepts her.

However, Junie can’t help but feel deprived. His arm is firmly locked around her, the fist at her side curled tightly. The other hand keeps a steady grip on her thigh. She’s greedy and selfish – wants to feel his hands all over her body. With a particularly bold swipe of her tongue, Junie lets her knees slide down until the apex of her thighs presses down on the ever-present bulge in his jeans and she moves her hips to grind into him.

The action derails her plan as it sends her into a spiral of pleasure. She breaks away from the kiss with a ragged gasp, swiveling her hips against his again. Two warm hands take hold of her hips with bruising force. He squeezes, effectively stilling her. Junie sighs, keeping her eyes closed.

“June-bug.” Jacob whispers softly against her mouth. It’s a beckoning call, a gentle summoning away from the brink. Junie opens her eyes to meet his icy-blue ones. He pulls himself back. They’re both a mess of flushed skin and harsh breathing.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to, beautiful.” Jacob starts reassuringly, stony demeanor returning slowly. “I don’t think that this is what either of us needs right now.”

The rejection is disappointing, but it doesn’t sting. His reassurance and firm grip keep her grounded.

“What do you need?” She struggles with the words through the fog of lust. Junie can’t help the frown that creases her brow slightly.

Jacob thinks about it – and he really, really thinks about it. His eyes drift away from her face and to the bay windows at the front of her house, his jaw working and expression critical. Junie lets him think – tries not to react to the way his fingertips dance on her thigh. He turns his gaze back to her, expression wiped within seconds and replaced with the empty look that she’d seen before.

“Time. Patience.” He stops after patience. Junie sees how he struggles to focus his gaze on her rather than look through her and into the past. His frown grows and he looks away again – whether from embarrassment in the moment or painful memory she doesn’t know. Junie’s heart aches just a bit.

Steeling herself with determination, Junie leans forward a bit and brings her hands up on either side of his face. “I can give you both of those.”

Jacob is taken off-guard by her gesture, but he doesn’t fight her. He remains stiff and rigid. Junie brings her lips to his one more time, a simple and chaste agreement on her end. Jacob still doesn’t move. After the kiss, Junie starts to remove herself from his lap. Jacob lets her go with little ceremony.

Jacob readjusts the prominent bulge now in his crotch and relaxes back into the couch once she’s left his lap.

Junie returns to her spot on the couch and yawns, reaching for the remote. Junie finds a documentary on the nuclear arms race and settles back into the couch. It’s almost as if nothing happened between them… _almost_.

Junie can’t help herself during a particularly dull moment in the documentary. “What do you think I need?”

Jacob seems confused by her sudden question, clearly invested in the documentary rather than her. He seems to remember his words from earlier quickly: _I don’t think this is what either of us needs right now._

Jacob doesn’t deliberate, doesn’t think. His answer leaves only seconds after she asks the question. His eyes don’t leave the screen. “Control.”

Junie’s eyes find the screen as well, pondering his answer with a smirk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing well. Although my job is keeping me pretty busy, I do have a bit more free time. I'm so glad you all enjoy this story! I'm having a blast writing it.

Going back to work proved to be rocky for Junie. Waking up early, wearing something other than lounging clothes and putting on make up were hard enough. Never mind cleaning her office and catching up on the absolute mountain of things that had happened during her absence were even worse. Her first week back was reminiscent of some sort of laborious punishment. She was in the office from six to six each day without fail. She found herself staying late at least twice a week on top of everything.

It was a shock to her system.

She tries her best to keep up with Jacob – although it’s not a requirement and definitely not a chore. He’s made himself a name at the packing facility and bought a used car. Junie swelled with pride when he drove it into her tiny driveway.

Junie feels something shift in their relationship after they kissed. He’s still snarky and pushes her buttons. She’s still the one who calls him and invites him. But there’s a gentleness that wasn’t there before. A willingness to accept and give softness. His moods seem to be more stable. He’s more soft-spoken with her. It’s small, but she likes it.

They don’t talk about the night they kissed – and there is no repeat performance. Junie laments but finds herself quickly remembering what she is giving him.

Time and patience.

One Tuesday afternoon, Junie hunches over her desk at work and scours a quote for a gun shop somewhere in middle America. The supply line for weaponry is more complicated than another product. Legislation varies from state to state and even from city to city. A large part of Junie’s job is double-checking and updating sales to locations where the changes happen. It’s frustrating work at times, trying to keep up with something that changes so quickly.

A headache settles in Junie’s temples as she works diligently, eyes scanning the fine print for words that could possibly land her company in legal trouble.

Her phone buzzes from the corner of her desk and she frowns, snatching it up. It’s been awhile since someone has called her during the work day. She answers as soon as she reads the number.

“Hey Jake.” Junie answers as cheerfully as she can.

“Hey.” Jacob replies cooly. “You at work?”

“Yeah,” Junie starts, pinching the phone between her cheek and her shoulder. “What about you?”

“I have today off.” She hears him light a cigarette over the line. “I’m feeling pretty charitable.”

Junie snorts. “Oh yeah? How so?”

He exhales. “You eat lunch yet?”

Junie smiles. “Nope.”

“Let me take you out to lunch.”

His words send her heart racing.

“I’d love to.” Junie sighs. “I’m kind of swamped here. Chernov’s out of town and Dima left early. The warehouse is still bumpin’ but I’m all by myself in the office.”

“Let me bring it to you, then.” He’s quietly persistent, his voice even.

Junie mulls over it. “What are you gonna bring me?”

“The finest Churches chicken that you’ve ever tasted, honey.”

Junie grimaces and groans. “Hard pass, big guy.”

“Fine, fine.” Jacob sighs sarcastically. “I suppose I can get Popeye’s for you.”

“You’re the best.”

There’s a noncommittal grunt on the line and Junie hears him take another drag from his cigarette. “What do you want?”

Junie gives him her order and the address before they exchange a quick farewell. It’s hard for Junie to return back to the pile of papers that lie on her desk. She finds her leg bouncing rapidly and she chews on her lip. Is it nervousness or excitement? Why?

Junie attempts to think critically about it but she fails. Instead, she turns her gaze back down to the paper she hadn’t finished scanning and tries, tries, tries to think of something other than Jacob.

It’s about twenty minutes later that she hears the doorbell on the building ring. Junie shoots out of her chair, smooths her skirt and leaves her office. The front office is tiny compared to the warehouse that connected to it. There were four separate rooms connected by one long hallway. Junie can barely hear the clicking of her heels against the tile over her roaring pulse in her ears.

Junie spies a flash of red hair through the distorted upper window and she opens the door – slightly out of breath from working herself up. Jacob appears as she opens the door, hair slicked back and beard trimmed up a bit.

It hits her then; it’s been a little longer than normal since they’d seen each other. Junie can’t help but smile goofily at him. She expects him to roll his eyes or at least offer a smirk. He doesn’t. His eyes drift up and down her body, his jaw locks, and he nods just barely.

“Hey good lookin’.” Junie opens the door more, allowing him room to come in. He enters and she worries her lip as she tries to figure out what cause his mood to swing. Junie makes sure the door locks as it shuts and turns to face him, wiping both palms on the front of her skirt. She watches him intently – his eyes drifting from one end of the office to the other. “You okay?”

Jacob’s gaze snaps to her, jaw still firmly locked. “Yeah.”

Junie’s brow creases and she steps forward, only a few inches away from him. “You sure?”

Jacob nods and his frown fades just a smidge. He holds up the bag of food and drink, eyes flicking between her and the items.

Junie’s frown fades and she smiles a bit. “Hell yeah…”

Junie nudges him and shoots him a broad smile. “Come hang out in my office for a bit while I eat... What’dya say?”

Jacob’s jaw releases – he smiles with his eyes. “Lead the way.”

“I get lunch and company? My lucky day…” Junie begins down the hallway. “For real though, thank you.”

“No problem.” Jacob grunts as they enter her office.

She motions to the chair sitting at the edge of her desk. He takes the wordless cue but doesn’t sit. He stops and looks at the hanging schematics used as decoration in her office while she uses her hip to close her door. Junie rounds about Jacob and her desk to settle into her own chair. Junie did manage to clear off the wide breadth of her desk from papers and other clutter before he arrived -simply shoving the work right into a tray.

Jacob eyes the schematics slowly. “So what is your job exactly?”

Junie hums playfully as she gets her food out of the bag. “Well, I get to play with guns and make money.”

Jacob scoffs and moves to another framed photo of a rifle prototype.

“I handle sales.” Junie answers and takes a bite of a chicken leg. She chews quickly, gulping down her sweet tea to ease the burn of the food. “To retailers and defense organizations.”

“I imagine you don’t sell much to the DOD.”

Junie laughs a bit. “No, we do not. Retailers are our biggest customer. We have some small… independent contractors who will buy some.”

“Pretty hard for you, sweet pea.” Jacob mulls derisively, sauntering over to the chair and sitting.

Junie raises a brow. “What’s hard for me?”

“Selling arms to mercenaries.”

Junie rolls her eyes. “You make it sound so dark and dangerous.”

“I worked with some mercenaries overseas.” Jacob explains, clasping his hands together on the table and leaning forward. “Thought about joining up with a group at some point in time. It’s a good way to make money.”

Junie feels a rush of defensiveness at the thought of Jacob joining a mercenary group. She wrestles with the feeling for a couple of seconds, tries to cover her concern with humor. “You wouldn’t. You’d miss me too much.”

“Meh, you’re right.” Jacob shoots back and Junie feels a weight lifting from her shoulders. She eats contently as his eye wander over various parts of her office. “How’d you land this job?”

The question takes Junie off guard. “Well, I’ve always had an interest in guns, and I got my degree in mechanical engineering because I wanted to design guns. Turns out, that’s a difficult field to break into. The man who supervises the east coast operations of Kalashnikov US is an old family friend and hired me because of that reason.”

“Nepotism.” Jacob drawls out amusingly.

“Mmhmm.” Junie nods with a mouthful. She swallows her food and shoots him a flirtatious smile. “Shocker for a bunch of former Soviets, hm?”

They fall into another silence and while it’s comfortable, Junie notices the way his jaw tightens again. Making a point to finish her food quickly, Junie cleans her mess and sits back in her chair. “Something on your mind?”

Jacob’s jaw tenses again. “I’ve been thinking about some things.”

Junie can’t pinpoint why her heart beats just a little faster.

“I was wondering if you would go somewhere with me this weekend.” Jacob’s face remains impassive, his tone cold, but there’s something about the way his fingers curl around the edge of the chair arm that tells Junie his request is difficult to get out. “I wanna go visit my hometown – I think my brother might be there.”

Junie feels the way her muscles relax as her expression softens. Jacob brings a hand to scratch his beard. “I know I’ve mentioned before that I’m not from Marietta. I’m from Rome. It’s about an hour away from here. I haven’t seen my brother in years, but I have an idea that he’s there.”

“What’s his name?”

“Joe.”

“You’ve tried looking him up?”

“Yeah and I got nothing. I have a feeling he got adopted. Probably changed his last name.”

“Well, I’ll go with you.” Junie accepts with a toothy smile. Jacob remains impassive, but the corner of his mouth twitches just a bit.

The two work out the logistics of the trip quickly – who is driving, where they’ll meet, what time they’ll get back. Junie stretches in her seat, lets out a yawn that echoes in her office. The yawn is contagious and Jacob stifles one behind his hand before standing up. Junie’s eyes find the white clock ticking on the wall and she scowls.

“I have to go back into my wage cage and work.”

Jacob lets out a surprisingly lively laugh. “What I would pay to see you in a cage.”

Junie takes the moment to try to commit the laugh to memory, as it’s one of the rare times in which she’s ever seen him genuinely laugh like that. Junie stands from her chair, intentionally coquettish as she plants her palms onto her desk and leans forward toward the man. “You into that sort of thing?”

Jacob mimics her actions, smirk growing into a near grin. “Are you?”’

Heat rushes through Junie’s body and she feels a flush creeping behind it. Her voice lowers considerably, words soft and inviting. “Could be… I just need someone to help me with my first time, is all.”

Without ceremony, a rough, calloused hand finds Junie’s jaw line. Jacob’s eyes leave hers and are focused on where he touches her. Junie’s cheeks burn and she’s so enticed by the action that she doesn’t want to move.

“I might be able to help you with that.” Jacob mutters, his hand leaving her jaw in favor of tracing his fingertips down the neckline of her button down. The neckline of her blouse hands from her body due to her leaning onto her desk, revealing an eyeful of cleavage and the top curve of her bra. Jacob and Junie watch as his fingertips dip into the fabric just a bit and stop short of where the fabric hangs from her skin.

His eyes dart up to hers. “You usually dress like this for work?”

Junie blinks as she processes the questions. She stumbles through the simple answer. “P-pretty much, yeah…?”

“Hell, if I’m gonna get a show like this every time I bring you lunch, I might just stop by more often.” Jacob’s smirk returns and he pulls his hand away and steps away from her desk.

Junie is left with a tremble in her hand, mind clouded with lust. “Cool…”

Jacob laughs again, clearly pleased with himself as he looks her up and down. Junie stands and fixes her shirt, eyes locked on the man standing on the other side of her desk.

“I’ll let you get back to work, June-bug. Thanks for humoring me.” Jacob’s soft-spoken tone is tinged with amusement.

He moves to the door of her office and Junie whips around the edge of her desk. “Wait, wait.”

Jacob freezes and turns around, expectant. Apprehensive but keen on wasting no time, Junie approaches Jacob, wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body against his in a tight hug. On her tip toes, Junie rests her chin in the crook of his neck. Closing her eyes, she takes the moment to appreciate the warmth of his chest against hers, the way his scruffy beard scratches her neck, how her pelvis slots nicely against his.

Junie is under no impression that he’ll return the hug – and he doesn’t. His body is tense. Junie pulls away swiftly when she feels his hand rest against the dip of her waist, afraid that he will yank her off of him. Jacob lets Junie pull away, and with her hands resting up on his shoulders, she smiles at him. “Thank you for coming to see me today.”

The red flush Junie has spotted before is creeping up his neck, but his expression remains passive. “Bye.”

Junie lets him extract himself from her completely and he leaves her office, walking quickly down the hallway and to the exit of the building. Junie fidgets, feeling uncomfortable as she weighs seeing him off at the door. Her feet don’t move and she just finds herself calling out down the hallway. “Bye! I’ll see you on Saturday!”

There’s a low chuckle that echoes back down the hallway. The door to the building opens and closes. Jacob is gone just like that.

Junie breathes in deeply, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt.

* * *

A few too-long days spent at work later, Saturday arrives. Junie and Jacob spared some time for phone conversations – vaguely planning on what they would do – but not much else. Jacob arrives at her house quite early and waits for her in the driveway. Junie gives her kisses to Finn and leaves the house.

There’s a hidden gentleman behind Jacob’s façade, Junie notices. He holds the car door open for her and she’s tempted to tease him about it as she slides into the seat. Before the teasing words leave her lips he slams the door shut a little too hard and scares her. Junie giggles to herself in the car as he rounds the car to get into the driver’s seat. He swiftly enters the car and promptly scowls at her.

“What’s so funny.”

“You’re a gentleman, Seed.” Junie breathes out dotingly as she buckles her seatbelt.

Jacob rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

Jacob drives them through the suburbs of Marietta and into the rural hills of Georgia. Junie could feel it when he picked her up – he’s as tense as he was all those months ago when they met. Junie keeps her distance and the conversation to a minimum. She lets him drive the car and their interactions and prefers it that way. She can’t upset him if he doesn’t let her do it.

It’s about forty-five minutes when he perks up, coincidentally when they come across the first large sign indicating that they’re nearing Rome.

“I don’t think Joe would leave Rome.” Jacob’s silky voice rises above the hum of traffic outside the vehicle.

“What makes you think that?” Junie responds, face pressed up against the window as she peers out into the swiftly passing tree line. The trees move too fast for her eyes to focus on anything in particular.

“Joe’s sentimental. Always has been. Even if he did get adopted, I think he would come back.”

“Who were you more close to – John or Joe?”

“John was real little when I went to juvie. I didn’t get much of a chance to bond with the kid.” Jacob explains, eyes locked on the traffic surrounding them. “I’m only two years older than Joe.”

“So Joe,” Junie answers for him, pulling away from the window and reaching for her water bottle.

“Yeah, Joe.” Jacob chuckles a bit.

Another silence blankets the car. Junie takes a few gulps of her water and screws the top back on the bottle. “What’s your favorite memory of him?”

The question is met with silence. She turns her gaze to him, his icy blue eyes flashing to her a few times before returning solely to the road. Junie can’t help her smile. There’s something endearing about the way he clams up at her question. He’s building up his walls while trying to find a way to let her through. Confusing man.

“One time I was pissed off at the old man. He beat John and I was real fuckin’ mad.” Jacob starts, his white-knuckle grip betraying his calm voice. “I was going to hurt him. I went to Joe to tell him my plans and Joe talked me down. I should’ve been mad at Joe, you know? Should’ve been just as pissed at him for trying to stop me from taking care of the fucker. Joe sat me down, looked me in the eye and calmed me down. Never experienced anything like that before. It’s nothing conventional, I know. It’s the best I have.”

Junie’s smile fades into a solemn expression. She fights the temptation to pity him. He doesn’t want pity. “We all take what we can get.” She offers quietly – content with looking out the window again.

It’s not long until the rural hills and wooded areas become subdivisions and new yet low-profile office buildings.

“Shit’s changed around here.” Jacob grunts as the car shifts over into a shoulder to exit from the highway.

Junie can surmise what he means. “It used to not look like this?”

Jacob lets out a bark-like laugh. “Oh no… It most definitely did not.”

“What was it like?”

They get off the exit and merge onto what seems to be a major road. An emergency medical center lays off the right – an aged but clean shopping center to the left. “Like a run-down heroin-infested white trash haven.”

Junie chuckles. “You live in a trailer park?”

Jacob’s tone is playful – but his expression hardens again. “I would’ve been lucky to live in a fuckin’ trailer park.”

There a lull in the conversation, Junie tries to imagine what this place looked like when Jacob was a kid. She has a difficult time imagining anything other than the run-down trailer park and skeevy motel strip she lived near in Montana.

“Our house was really old. Probably built in the thirties or something. Ma and the old man took pretty good care of it up until I was maybe five or so. The old man lost his job and turned to the bottle for a while but it became a habit. The whole house was rotted. Window broken, leaky roof, and part of the upstairs was collapsing in on itself. There wasn’t any yard work to do because we couldn’t fight how out of control it’d gotten. Shit – our street didn’t have a paved road for years. They didn’t even finish paving it because it was too dangerous to finish.”

Jacob went on and on, voice soothing Junie’s discontent with the words being spoken. She finds herself at the precipice of pity. There’s something about hearing about his dilapidated childhood that makers her physically twitch to reach over and hug him. She knows better than to act on it. She knows it won’t be received well.

They trace through the small city of Rome for about twenty minutes when they reach a long stretch of road that extends out into cleared out land. The road is filthy – covered with dirt from the construction sites that line the road.

Jacob slows considerably, crawling down the road and scoffing. “You gotta be shitting me.”

The response Junie comes up with dies on her tongue as a large sign rolls into view on the left. A generic yet shockingly-post modern concept of a shopping center is front and center on the sign – mud splattered over the bottom edge of it. A bold, generic name sits atop, accompanied by the numerous retailers that will be featured listed in the empty space next to it all. Junie peeks over at Jacob, who seems more amused than anything else. Junie chews on the inside of her lip – uneasiness eating at her.

Jacob stops the car at some point – reaching over her to point out of the passenger window. _The Seed Home_ – he announces as he points to a pile of reddened clay mud.

“Oddly appropriate, yeah?” Junie attempts humor as she assesses the pile. Jacob huffs a small laugh – the heat of his breath brushing against her collar bone. Junie tenses, realizing how close he is to her.

Shaking off her uneasiness and the thrill of his proximity, Junie reaches down and unbuckles her seatbelt. Jacob raises a brow but doesn’t speak.

“I’m gonna go look at it.” Junie answers his silent question. Junie gently pushes his extended arm out of the way and gets out of the car, gently closing the door behind her. She carefully steps through the uprooted greenery, chunks of concrete, and mud until she stands where she assumes the front yard would’ve been.

The hum of conversation and hammering of construction echoes through the landscape as Junie surveys the area. She doesn’t hear any movement from the car behind her and she doesn’t expect to. She takes careful steps around the area, eyes drawn to the ground. She’s not particularly keen on finding anything where she stands – she’s more so inspired by the desire to stretch her legs after being in the car for so long.

“Ma’am?”

A man clad in construction gear approaches her from the other side of the mud hill. Junie jumps a bit at the salutation. The stocky man offers her a polite smile.

“Hello!” Junie chirps happily, stumbling back a bit.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Oh,” Junie starts with a self-deprecating laugh, trying to ease her way out of the awkwardness of standing in the middle of a construction site unannounced. “No, no, I’m fine. Thank you though.”

Junie points over her shoulder to where she knows Jacob’s car waits. “My friend used to live here. We wanted to come see the house but… obviously it’s uh – it’s gone.”

The man nods and crosses his arms. The ignition in the car behind her turns off. “I see. Yeah, I’m sorry to hear that. The neighborhood was demolished a few months ago.”

“Oh, cool...” Junie nods and hears a car door shut. “It’s kind of odd to put a shopping center out this far.”

“Well, there’s a couple of housing developments that are growing nearby. They’re really nice! It might feel a bit out of the way, but the developers were really hellbent on this project.”

Jacob’s footfalls reach her ears. She doesn’t pay any mind to them – curiosity winning out. Junie squints as the sun peeks from the clouds. “Who is the development company?”

“It’s actually a law firm. Burr and Hillenbach.”

Junie hums, the conversation coming to a halt. The man’s eyes are drawn to the imposing figure that creeps up behind her.

The man offers a tight smile to Jacob. “You used to live here?”

Jacob doesn’t answer the man, just nods.

Junie finds herself ready to speak but the man beats her to the punch. “I don’t know how much help it will be, but a man from the firm is here to survey progress today - Mr. Duncan's his name. I could go ask him if he can offer you any information on the property. Maybe they have pictures or something.”

Junie is beat to the punch again – this time by Jacob. “No, thank you. C’mon June.”

Junie has only a moment to squeak out a thanks before Jacob’s hand finds the dip in her waist and he applies just enough pressure to communicate his desire for leaving. Junie lets Jacob guide her to the passenger side. Ever the gentleman, he opens the door and lets her slide in. He slams the door just like he did back in her driveway.

He’s tense when he puts the keys in the ignition. Junie buckles her seat belt and sighs.

“Didn't your dad teach you not to talk to strangers?” Jacob teases her as he puts the car into drive.

Junie rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m not as paranoid as you are.”

She’s met with silence. It’s these moments that frustrate Junie. Jacob is a complicated man. Hot then cold in an instant. Talkative then silent in a moment. Happy the furious in the blink of an eye. She’s learned not to chase conversation but she’s not entirely sure how he feels about the long silences that stretch between them.

Eventually, the car leaves the filthy, mud-coated road and they find themselves retracing their way back to the main thoroughfare of the city. He takes her through what she assumes is downtown Rome. It exudes small-town America, but it’s different. Junie finds it hard to put her finger on what makes it different, but she’s sure it’s the dilapidated conditions Jacob described to her that leaves her less than impressed with the clean building façades and small-town charm.

“You hungry?” Jacob asks suddenly.

The silence is broken, the tension is gone. The crease between his brows is gone, his voice is as silky as it’s every been. He’s back to normal.

Junie shoves her thoughts aside and she smiles at the man. “You know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all see the little thing I did there with John? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


End file.
